Just you watch.

This is Hugh.

Hugh leaves baseball games early.

As long as he’s done the wave.

Hugh will tell you there’s no bigger baseball fan.

Every chance he gets.

Hugh has a friend 240 miles south who really gets baseball. It’s about kicking the farm-rankings can and the MVP race and the countdown to someone combining Rasmus’s sweet hairstyle with Keuchel’s impeccable beard game.

Hugh will call you Broseph before he knows your name and bluetooths a lot and uses Axe body spray and has mad respect for the #AstrosRants guy.

You watch the games. Hugh is gonna dive into the playoff odds algorithms.

Chemistry is a school subject that he didn’t care about (because the teacher was stupid).

Hugh believes the game is played on paper and that every outcome is just a point plotted on a regression-to-the-mean vector. Win-loss records in one-run games are mirages and run differential is King (just you watch, man) and there’s no such thing as clutch. Hugh #occasionallyquits.

In fact, Hugh checked out last night when Cole Hamels gave the four-run lead back and the ball to Banny, who gave it to Alex Claudio, whose shuttle between Arlington and Round Rock must have broken down because, seriously dude, what does he throw, 78 miles per hour?

Hugh believes he can take Alex Claudio out of the park and over them mountains. You choose from which side of the plate.

Hugh says he hasn’t he really heard of Alex Claudio anyway, and Hugh bets he was once a top prospect that they should have traded for a controllable ace when he was in AA if they knew what they were doing because if prospects don’t turn into perennial All-Stars before they’re arbitration-eligible then you don’t know what you’re doing.

Hugh wonders if you’d like to know who he picked up on waivers on his fantasy team (“The Wave”) on Thursday. It was awesome. You really should hear the story.

Hugh was long gone last night when Alex Claudio (1.54 ERA over 15 appearances in his fourth stint with the Rangers this year) faced 10 Mariners and got eight of them out, seven on the ground (three to the mound) and one on strikes.

He was nowhere near a ballgame when Jurickson Profar stepped up in the eighth with a one-run deficit and rookie beast Edwin Diaz on the mound, having retired the first two Texas batters of the inning on just five pitches. He knows nothing about the professional at-bat that Profar battled through, not an at-bat at all actually since it went strike looking-foul-foul-ball-ball-ball-ball, not leading to a run but making sure Diaz didn’t get back into the dugout after just six or eight pitches.

Hugh didn’t see Ian Desmond’s four-pitch walk that followed or Carlos Beltran’s eight-pitch strikeout, and even if Hugh had, he wouldn’t have thought about the consequence of Texas possibly working to end Diaz’s night before the ninth — or to face the rookie in the ninth after he’d already racked up 24 pitches.

Hugh didn’t see Banny’s emotional postgame press conference or the awesome comments Emily Jones drew out of Rougned Odor before it or the home plate scrum (and Yu Darvish’s predictably awesome role therein) before it or Jonathan Lucroy’s tremendous on-deck bat spike and helmet spike before it or the intensity with which Odor, who had made a couple large-looming mental mistakes earlier in the game (Hugh saw one of those), locked eyes with Diaz throughout the five-pitch at-bat before all of that, which sent a 2-2 two-seamer, 98 and below the zone, 413 feet the other way at 103.17 miles per hour and which sent Lucroy’s bat and helmet forcefully to the ground and likely the disabled list and which sent Darvish and his teammates streaming out of the dugout and which sent Banny into an unusually powerful on-field celebration full of fist pumps and neck veins and bear hugs and which sent a nearly deshirted Odor to Emily’s side and which sent me into a baseball frenzy that I’m still riding this morning.

Hugh didn’t hear Eric Nadel’s Hall of Fame call of the Odor shot that ended the game right as Hugh was watching the end of TMZ.

If you see Hugh this morning, let him know a little about Texas 8, Seattle 7 once he gets through toothing his conference call.

But be prepared for his #SMDH response because, you know, going 30-8 in one-run games is gonna catch up with you eventually.

Just you watch.