Max & Luka.

The raw thoughts of a 20-year old MFFL.

I’ve heard and seen them all day long the last two days, and I’m sure you have, too. Video clips and written accounts of how things went down when parents broke the awful, unthinkable news to their kids: that Luka Dončić had been traded.

For me, it happened in reverse. I found out from my 20-year-old, Max.

First, it was this, rustling me from a happily ignorant sleep:

And then, a couple hours later, also from Max:

I asked him today how he was doing. Not so much in a “hey man, what’s up?” tone, but more to check in and see if he was handling the gut-punch any better than I was.

He told me he’d written something for himself, so he’ll never forget how he felt when he first heard the impossible news. Not just where he was and who he was with, the type of thing many us remember forever from moments like that, good and bad — but what the visceral feeling was like.

Max shared it with me, and with his permission, I am sharing it with you. It’s raw and it’s authentic and, even for me just reading it, it’s therapeutic. He wrote it for himself, but he’s cool that I’m posting it here.

I remember being that kid — though like I said yesterday, I was never dealt this kind of sports blow by that age.

Here you go, from a 20-year-old who made sure he had a 77 jersey when he had barely entered his teens:

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I’m sad — more than sports sad. The Luka Mavs were the best fan experience I’ve had in my life. The 2011 Rangers were awesome, but I was too young. The Cowboys just have never done it in my lifetime. The 2023 Rangers were AWESOME, but I had a lot going on in my life at the time and wasn’t able to watch every game, and the fact that Corey Seager, Marcus Semien, Nathan Eovaldi, and others were acquired externally made it feel different. That was our team, but I don’t know if they felt like our guys. My guys. The Luka Mavs were my guys.

The Luka Mavs changed me. I gained a deep love for basketball once I first watched Luka his rookie season. From that point forward, I’d look at the schedule and get excited when there was a Mavs game that night. I’d watch, and I mean watch, every game. The culmination of it all, last year’s Mavs, was just perfect. Luka was the homegrown superstar, taking the city to the finals. He was MY guy, OUR guy. Kai came along and immediately felt that way. His joy, the skill, his embrace for the team and the city. Lively, OUR guy, that we drafted and who in his rookie season was such a big piece to the team and the culture. PJ, fully bought into Dallas and this team. OUR guy. The entire roster felt right. And even though this season hasn’t been what we expected, it still felt like we were trending up. And even though the rest of the team is still here, I feel like they have to feel less in it having seen how this went down.

The reason this hurts so bad is because this isn’t just a basketball player that is gone, it’s my guy — and our guy as a fanbase. My guy that gave me my love for basketball, for this team. My guy that gave me unforgettable memories with my friends. My guy that created a bonding point for me and Dad. My guy that made it a hell of a lot of fun to be a Mavs fan.

I was proud to be a Mavs fan. I don’t know who the Mavs are now. That’s the pain. It’s not a player, it’s an identity. The identity of our team and our city is gone, and there’s no positive or hopeful return. It’s not that he retired with a bittersweet farewell, and he’ll be around the team forever as a Mav for life, a Mavs legend. It’s not, we now know, that Luka lost love for us. It’s not that we let go of our guy to set ourselves up for more success, getting younger or better.

We got older. We got worse. We got further.

And I’ve never felt further from this team than I do right now. I feel a betrayal, a confusion, and a hatred for the owners who I can’t help but think have a big part in this. They’re not for us. Nico, I don’t know what the fuck got into him. He had been so incredible for us, and he threw all that away. What was behind this? What motivated him to trade our guy?

The best sports experience of my life came to a falling end. Gone just like that. I’m sad.

I love the Mavs. I don’t feel the same attachment to them. It’s hard to feel that right now. Maybe that’s because it was the guys I loved, and we know they loved us back as a fanbase. I realize now the team cares more about other things than us.