Present tense.
My softball team lost twice Sunday morning, first by two runs and then by one run. We were awful defensively, and incredibly unopportunistic with runners in scoring position. We got jobbed in a big way by the umpires at a critical point in Game Two, but when you play the way we did, you sort of make your luck, and we deserved to get beat.
I had a good day at the plate in the doubleheader (8 for 8), but was in a terrible mood heading away from the complex. I'd rather go 0 for 5 with two errors and win than play well and lose, even in something as inconsequential as a weekend softball league. I'd rather second-chair a trial win than get to run the show but earn a disappointing result. I hate losing. Hate it. No matter how satisfied or frustrated I am about how I play is secondary to how my team comes out.
The worst part about yesterday morning, worse than the 10-8 and 9-8 final scores, was how we lost. The failure to catch and throw well, the squandered opportunities on offense.
And the games I play don't mean a thing. Can't imagine how JD and Wash and the 27 guys who have suited up to play these first 12 for the Rangers must feel.
The 26th and 27th players to appear, Luis Mendoza and Scott Feldman, did their jobs. Mendoza came out of Saturday's start with a 1.80 ERA, while Feldman threw a quality start on Sunday.
The Rangers' starters, in fact, have seven quality starts in 12 games (their five non-quality starts are matched in the American League only by the Twins), and a 3.19 ERA, which is three-hundredths of a run off the league lead. And yet no Texas starter has more than one win.
No American League team has a lower fielding percentage than the .973 mark owned by Texas, or a lower defensive efficiency rating (.6864), or more errors (13), or more unearned runs (11).
No American or National League team hits worse than the Rangers' .184 with runners in scoring position, or their .192 with runners on base.
This time last year, Texas was 5-7, in fourth place in the West, two games back.
Today, Texas is 5-7, in fourth place in the West, 2.5 games back.
But for some reason, even though there are some symptoms in common (particularly the defensive problems), things don't feel as dire in 2008. And I think the reason is pretty obvious -- that 3.19 starters' ERA. Granted, it's not going to remain that low, but the situational hitting won't remain as bad as it's been either, and the defense will continue to get better. Good things start with good starting pitching, and if you're clicking in just one phase, from a long-term standpoint you'd want it to be your rotation stepping up.
There's no bigger proponent than I am of the idea that the big picture is what's important here. It's about building a contender, a team that is positioned to compete at the top not for a string of weeks but for a string of years, even if that advent isn't likely to arrive for another season or two. It's less about this series, or this homestand, or this month, or this season.
But, for me, it's still about tonight, if that makes sense.
I can't do anything about how I'm wired.
===========================================================
To join the free Newberg Report mailing list so you can get e-mail deliveries of every edition of the newsletter, daily minor league game recaps, and frequent Newberg Report News Flashes, go to www.newbergreport.com and click the "Mailing List" link on the top menu bar.
(c) Jamey Newberg
http://www.newbergreport.com
If you want to be removed from this list, please e-mail me at newbergreport@sbcglobal.net